It's been a week of 45-55 degree highs and constant, blazing, golden sunshine. You know what that means. That's right, I'm looking at you, stinky running shoes.
Today I ran purely to feel the blood in my veins, the heat on my cheeks, the elevation that brings all my senses back from hibernation. The best, cheapest therapy there is.
I read an article today about mental health, and how someone can be treated for depression when the real underlying problem, causing sleeplessness, sadness, low self-esteem, is shame. The patient in the article had such low points during his treatment, that the therapist had to resort to a simple exercise asking him to name 4 colors he saw in her office, identify at least one emotion he was feeling, and so on. The exercise helped him put his feet back on the ground so he could work through the lifetime of shame he had hidden so well from himself. Ultimately, it helped him address his fears and inadequacy issues, until he was able to make changes in his life, free from his past. Running literally does that for me. It puts my attention on the actual ground beneath my feet, and on the basic survival skills of not tripping or stepping in all sorts of city filth. It makes me think about my breath, my posture, my pain and my pleasure. It burns my resources so I'm mindful to replenish what's lost, to give my muscles and cells and organs what they need to regrow and thrive. I become the master of this complex universe within my own body for a few sweaty moments, and then I return to my real life feeling satisfied, harmonious.
It's so simple, it seems like we should instinctively know how to do this ourselves. Look around, a whole world is fluttering and moving and thriving around us, even when we feel like we are dying from the pain in our hearts. I guarantee you will feel immediate relief from stepping outside and trying to see something new and wonderful, even if you've stood on that spot nearly every weekday for 13 years.
At least 2 or 3 times today I convinced myself to keep running, try to make it to the stairs at the end of the sidewalk, then try to climb the stairs, again, and again. And I knew I wouldn't shatter or collapse. I'm not saying it was a record setting run, or anything close. And yet I'm thrilled that I got to be out there in uninterrupted sunshine and a cool breeze, trotting on healthy feet, happy in and out breaths.
By the looks of that giant stopwatch atop the Wrigley Building, it's time to head back.
Is it safe to come out now?
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